I have noticed a trend in my life and moods. Funny it should take as long as it has for me to see this tiny truth, but I am slower than most so there you are. When I am depressed, when I am down, when I feel like lifes walls are closing in, it seems that my cynicism and doubt reach their high. I must confess I am quite a cynic most of the time. It is not something I am proud of or that I wear on my sleeve but it is there nonetheless. I always had a soft spot for poor Thomas and Peter...the Doubter and the Brash-Impulsive, for I see so much of myself in them. Anyhow, when I am at my worst nothing seems possible; I lose my confidence in people, in the world, in the system.
As a quick (but way far) aside, the ancients used to classify people by their "humors". The Greek, Roman and Arab philosophers and physicians came up with a theory to explain temperaments. There were four main catagories: sanguine, choleric, melancholic and phlegmatic. Each temperament corresponded to a substance in the body that influenced the personality of the individual. The reason I mention this is because, although I know nothing about my body chemistry I do know I must be melancholic, a description that rather speaks for itself! Hence the seemingly depressive nature of my writings. My sincerest apologies!
The truth I wanted to share in this blog was not my cynicism, nor my wavering confidence in others. What I have discovered is that when I trust in the Lord, when I drop my hands to my sides and admit, once again that I don't know anything and I hold no power in my feeble hands, He reminds me that He does. God speaks to my heart and reminds me that though they might fool me, people have never pulled the wool over God's eyes. He knows everything; from the first movement of the first atom in space to the first thought in my own mind. There is nothing hidden from God's sight.
Furthermore, when open my bible, when I light the lamp of God's word and consent to follow Him down any path on which He chooses to lead me no matter the cost, I am reminded also that for Him there is nothing impossible. By the power of my weak human mind I can only imagine the infinite impossibilities of this world. When I am living through the power of His Spirit, though, a universe of possibilities opens up; there is nothing that seems beyond reach. His hand is powerful and it yearns to show me things beyond my wildest dreams, wonders that are uniquely God's. He asks that I put my faith and trust in Him and He will take care of the rest. There is not enough wonder in my mind nor words in my brain to comprehend or express the supremacy and capacity of God. He is far grander and more deeply consuming than my moods or fears. His hands are never idle in this world or in my heart; they are constantly and steadily at work for good, accomplishling His will and purpose. When I choose to set aside my own petty issues and feelings I can glimpse a portion of the wonder of our Lord...and it goes beyond anything I could possibly say here!
3 comments:
Thought you might find this interesting! It's a quiz (also explained in the book Personality Plus) depicting the temperaments you mentioned in your latest blog.http://www.oneishy.com/personality/personality_test.php
How funny it is that emotions are so hard to reign in. (I speak of myself, here.) But you are right. When we bring them under the sovereignty of God, we are free to enjoy the possibilities of God.
I just grabbed at one of the many truths you shared here. It resounded with me. I love you!
Oh wow - this was right on. I can relate so much. I often refer to my cynacism and, I think it comes out in my blog by virtue of my extended silences at times. I don't want to give my depressed state further power by spreading it around but I am still learning to properly fight through to meditating on the truths about God. I can see I am growing though.
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